Tag Archives: The Lesotho Connection

Cultural Differences on Motherhood

DSC_0155bwmTonight Will, Sam, Mary, Paul and Sammy went to Paul’s parent’s for dinner. Sam and I stayed in bed. After dinner, Paul’s parents came back to the house to meet us. They said hello to Sam as he laid in bed. I got up and came out to the living room for a short visit.

Mary’s relationship with Paul’s parents as well as their relationship with Sammy has been confusing to me. When Mary and Paul got married, she was required to live with Paul’s parents for the first 3 months of their marriage to learn how to take care of Paul. This was confusing to me. Paul is a healthy young man. He does not have any special needs. Mary patiently told me that this is part of their culture.

When Mary got pregnant with Sammy, she was not allowed to live with Paul for the last trimester of her pregnancy, nor for the first few months after Sammy was born. It seems that there is a cultural belief that having sex during this time could cause the baby to become blind or disabled. Mary lived with her parents for the last trimester and then for the fist 2 months after the Sammy was born. After that she had to move into Paul’s parent’s home for a few months.

When I would ask her the baby’s name for a long time she would say that she did not know. It was Paul’s parents who would name him. I could not imagine this. In fact, Paul’s parents did give him his Basotho name and then Mary and Paul gave him his English name – Sammy.

Paul’s parents have as much and perhaps more say in the raising of Sammy as Mary does. He lives in their home during the week and comes home to Mary and Paul’s house on the weekends. They can come and get him whenever they want. This has been very confusing to me. Mary’s response is, “It is my culture.” Tonight as I sat with Paul’s parents, his mother pointed at Sammy and said, “That is my last born.” I thought my head was going to explode. That comment made no sense to me. Her last born? Wasn’t it Mary who was in labor for 2 days to give birth to that child? Wasn’t Sammy her child? I had a difficult time reminding myself that I was there to grow in my understanding of the culture, not to judge it.

The Weavers

DSC_0951wmBetween Maseru and Maputsoe is at town known for their weavings. We stopped at one of three weaving outlets suggested in our guidebooks. The front room of the building was made out of cans and is where the weavings are displayed and sold. The back room is where the looms are and where the tapestries are made.

We stopped at each loom and watched the artisan weave their tapestry. Amazed by the deftness of their fingers, and the beauty of their work.

As we walked in, I was immediately taken by a tapestry that was hanging that was of the mountains and trees in deep hues of green, purple and blue. The more I looked at it, the more I questioned whether it would feel too dark in our home. Then I saw this incredible tapestry of a woman with a water jug on her head. Her dress was a deep red. The colors were bold, not bright but bold and beautiful. I fell in love with it. Niko took one look at it and said he like us to find another one. He feels like we have enough art of woman in our house and would like to balance it with something more gender neutral. And so we went back and forth and chose a weaving that depicted village life in Lesotho to hang in our living room.

I just cannot stop thinking about the woman with the jar. I am beginning to realize that when we find something we love we should not be so quick to let it go. It is important to find a compromise with those who share our space for what goes in our shared space. However, I also know that I could have hung her in my office. I like the one we got, but I do not love it, nor am I moved by it as I was with the woman with the jar. With art, should we go with what we love, or with what fits, or compromise on something that everyone likes enough? I think with art, we should go for that which speaks to our soul and save the compromise to where it will be displayed.

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The Work of this Holy Woman Takes Root in My Heart

Sr. JulianaSr. Juliana
Woman of Compassion
Reaching out in Love
Becoming home to each child in need.
Following her Jesus who says,
“Let the children come to me.”
Her little ones,
Her Jesus,
Call her name and she Responds,
“I am here.”
-Kim Colella

 

 

Bus Driver Niko

DSC_0925wmNiko has created quite the bond with the pre-school children. Every morning he picks them up and takes them to school and every afternoon he brings them home. Today we went to the Center early to witness this morning ritual. Niko parks next door at the Bishops compound because it is easier then driving down the road full of pot holes to the Center. He then walks around a fence to get to the Center and fetches the little ones. Once they all have their coats and shoes on, together they trudge back to the van. Halfway to the van all 5 children stopped. The four boys unzipped their pants and took a pee, while the little girl, pulled down her tights and hiked up her skirt as she squatted to relieve herself. Right there where they were they just decided now is the time and this is the place. I giggled at their sweetness.

Sweet Goodbyes

DSC_0875 wmTonight we said our goodbyes. When we come back tomorrow morning all the children, except for the preschoolers and babies, will have left for school. I pray that the time we spent here will be a blessing in some small way on the children and matrons who live here. I pray that our time here will have an impact on Sam and Will. I pray that seeds of compassion and generosity and deep gratitude will take root in their hearts and that as they reenter there lives in the U.S. that they will do so knowing that they are a part of a larger world, a larger reality then their lives in Tacoma. May the spirit of this place go with us.

The Matrons

DSC_0859wmThe matrons have a big job. There are 3 full time matrons who are with the children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They are the cooks, cleaners, and mothers to these 20 children.

Before we left Tacoma, the TLC board met with us and asked us if we would be “hygiene and sanitation experts” and do some work to encourage the matrons to use the new washing machine, to shower the kids instead of washing them in buckets and to encourage the children to use the toilets instead of using the ditch outside when they needed to relieve themselves.

After observing the matrons for many days, I sat down to have a meeting with them. Rethabile acted as my interpreter. I asked the women why they did not use the washing machine. They told me that they were just used to doing it by hand and did not want to use the machine. As I reflected on this, a light bulb went on. When the woman are hand washing the laundry it is a break from being with the children. It is a meditative task, a time that gives them a little space to themselves. Using the wash machine does not give this kind of break. You put the clothes in and turn on the knob and then are available to go right back in to caring for the children. As a mother, I know that those breaks are so important for maintaining ones sanity.

When I asked them about the showers, they told me that they wished that they had a bathtub, instead of a shower. The showers were too difficult to use with the small children. Of course they are! If you have 15 young children to shower, you will be completely drenched by the time you are done. Niko came up with a solution to this problem. He suggested that they get a shower head that is on the end of a long hose, so that it can be brought down to shower the little ones as they sit in the plastic bucket. Monies have been set aside and a plumber has been called to put this into place.

Hand Washing

DSC_0796bwmOne of the priorities of the Lesotho Connection and the St. Camillus Center is increased hygiene and sanitation practices. Stephanie came up with a wonderful idea. She has been collecting the little mesh bags that lemons or limes come in. Her idea is to put the soap into the bags and then somehow to tie the bags to the outdoor spiggots. There are about 5 different faucets outside for the children to use for washing their hands, getting a glass of water, etc. Niko took on the challenge of figuring out how to get the soap bags tied on securely to the faucet so that the kids can always have access to soap.

Sam and Will wrote a song:

Wash your hands,
Wash your hands
Every time you eat.
Wash your hands,
Wash your hands,
Every Time you poop or pee.

Niko and I added hand and body movement to go with the song.

Today we had the inaugural soap washing and singing. The kids loved it! Perhaps this small but important project is the concrete contribution I have been waiting to see us accomplish.

A Little Too Concrete!

Too concrete b wmWe returned to the center excited to do something to concrete to help the St. Camillus Center. Sam and Will went out to help in the field. They are preparing the ground this week so that they can plant 12,000 cabbages next week. It was hard work. The land is so dry that it was like breaking up concrete. The workers had been at it all day. Sam and Will lasted only an hour or two. Then they came in and Will played soccer with the kids, while Sam, Niko and I took Sr. Julianna grocery shopping.

Concert for the Preschool

Day 9c wmAfter the Bishop’s concert , we headed over to the Preschool.  This is the school that the children from the St. Camillus Center attend.  Being with these precious little ones was a fun way to end the concert series.

To be honest, I am relieved that the concerts are done. The gifts of this experience for Sam and Will are tremendous.  I am grateful for all the time and energy that was put in to give them this experience and I am ready to be at the Center without the scheduled pressure of another concert. I am ready to have time to just live the life of and to be of service to the St. Camillus Center. 5 concerts in 4 days has really limited the time we have had to be at the Center. Of course, all the children, except for the babies and for the oldest, Slindle, were at school all day. So there would not have been much for us to do, except perhaps work on projects. I am ready to do something concrete for the St. Camilllus Center.

Concert for the Bishop

Bishops concert copyThis morning we met outside in the Bishops Compound with the Bishop. He needed to meet with us very early because he had a meeting in Pretoria, which is north of Johannesburg, that afternoon. Sam and Will played about 4 songs for the Bishop and his staff. He was so appreciative and he clapped along with the music. He gave us each a beautiful key chain, and tried out Sam’s drum pad.

As the Bishop talked to Niko and I about our work, he became very excited. He really wanted to meet with us again, and was disappointed that he had not met us sooner.